Early sunday morning, My brother, my future sister-in-law (God save her soul) and my niece drove to Smithville to walk the shops. On the way there, I think i experienced something I've never felt before. As i stared at that 4 month old baby girl as she lay in her carseat, she stared back at me with her big blue eyes. She stared at me, perfectly silent with a smile on her face, and I the same back at her. I had never felt love like that before. I love that little girl with all of my heart. She grows more beautiful and vibrant each and everyday. And we both love to just stare at eachother, and she holds my finger and I brush her little chubby cheeks. It's like all my problems go away when i look in her eyes. Maybe I envy her innocence, that gentle, pure, undamaged innocence, that we all once had, back when life was simple. Or maybe, she represents more of future than my past. I have all these maturnal feelings already. I am completely head over heels for this child. I can't imagine when I have one (or three) of my own. Oh how i long for that day.

I'm back? lol Gabby insists that I bring my xanga back from sabatical and start posting again. On the other 6 days of the week ( and sometimes more depending on the automobiles) that i don't see her, she has NO idea what goes on in my life. Well I've made some progressions and degressions in friendships. On the bad side, Douglas and I seem not as close, or close at all these days. I have no idea why. But we havent hung out in like 3 weeks, and it doesnt seem to bother him, as opposed to the past when it was like "MY GOD! I havent seen you in like 3 days!!!!!" So needless to say, I'm feeling a little neglected, and brushed off, but meh...another one bites the dust? So much for the whole "only constant" thing. But on a lighter note, I've been talking to Joshua more lately. I think we have a date today? Its an English date, so it wont be too too fun, but we'll find away. Then ( before or after or during) me and Katie G are going to go undergarment shopping to take advantage of her discount before she leaves Macy's. Let's just hope while I'm there my car doesnt get spit on this time. Stupid Haters. lol WEEEE

This weekend was AWESOME! Lol Good times coming home with Gabs and Jose at like 12, then hitting up the Milleville Diner. "Was it you that kicked me?", "That looks like a floral wig!", "Eight dollars for BACON!?"...lol and other assorted things that made me laugh so hard i couldnt breath. Church was AMAZING as usual. It really made me think about some things, but even just talking with Gabs makes me reevaluate how im going about my days. That whole group of people over there are wonderful people. Me, Nate and Gabs are already super close, but i got to hang out more with Jose this time. He's a really really funny kid. I think his only down fall would be the whole him being an eagles fan, but hey, no ones perfect. lolol I still havent been able to really get to know Nat yet though, so im eagerly looking forward to that. Gabs says if you put herself, Nate, and Jose in a blender you'd get me. I'm sure Nats in there somewhere, we just have to find the common ties. lol

I'm going to see Dane Cook the 19th, and that makes me happy. I saw Adam today, and that makes me happy too. I missed him on Saturday!

Well im bouncing! <3